You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
