dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
