.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
