when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
