its not stalking. its research.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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