found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
