Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
