is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
