My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize