the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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