Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
