If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
