this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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