Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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