i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
