Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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