Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
