At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
