Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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