we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
