Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
