Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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