R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your penis caused this!
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