yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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