At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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