Life is so much better after having sex.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize
