Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
