We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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