yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
