Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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