I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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