I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
