it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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