I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
