Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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