So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
