Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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