does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
