I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
