Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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