am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
