You're completely useless in the revolution.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Randomize
