Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
