Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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