is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
