This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
