And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
