i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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