She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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