The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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