I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
