Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This girl is more easily done than said...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
