I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
