Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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