Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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