He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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