Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
