Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
