I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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