just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
