Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Come on in and take your pants off
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