I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
