I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
