problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
